It's Me again, Margaret!

Well, I'm going to give this a whirl again! For the eleventy-seventh time! lol Trying to get motivated to get so many things done, but this cold is kicking my butt! It's so hard to think about cleaning, decorating, etc when all you want to do is take a nice, long nap! But, I want to get things ready for Christmas, and I hope and pray that my dog, Bexar, decides to keep the decorations where I put them! He is the "destroyer of things" and I don't want my "pretties" to be added to his casualty list. It's not all his fault, he's still a pup (well, he'll be a year old this Sunday) and he's a moose in a small house!

Things that need to get done:

• Clean and rearrange dining room


• Move dog crate into now clean and rearranged dining room


• Put Christmas tree where dog crate used to reside.


• Clean all horizontal surfaces!


• And the list goes on, and on


• and on


• and on


• etc


• etc


• etc!

I'm going to try to post every day of December, things that I'm thankful for in my life! I'm a day behind, so today's will also include yesterday! That's me, start something when you are all ready in the negative, so you constantly scramble to keep up! Yea Me!

I recently discovered Pinterest, and am in LOVE! So many great ideas all ready, but most of them have to wait until the house is cleaned and decorated! But, in my spare time I can pin things and have all of my ideas ready!

No hubby this weekend, : ( But, we get to see him every weekend this month, and we get him for over a week at Christmas time! So excited! We don't get to spend true quality time with him often enough, so this will be great!

Well, I have to go get J from school, stop at the store for yet more cold medicine (that doesn't seem to help nearly as much as it should for the cost), stop for a visit with Pop and then home again, home again, jiggity jig! So ready for the weekend! Christmas parade, cleaning, decorating, and reorganizing! I'd also love to squeeze in some time to bake some goodies! Back later for my Thankful post!

TTFN!

Finally the Weekend!

I can't believe it is FINALLY the weekend! Seems like it took forever! Hubby's on his way home, should be here soon. He may all ready be in town though, he usually stops in to see his mom and dad before he heads home for the evening.

I think we are gonna have a fish fry this weekend. Maybe Sunday. Maybe tomorrow. Depends on how motivated I get. LOL Gotta get a few things from the store, and go out to the freezer and get the collection of fish. Hubby and J go fishing quite often, and when they actually catch something, we don't usually eat it right away, so there's quite the assortment out there. Should be good. Variety of fish, some hushpuppies. Wish I lived closer to Sonnys, cause I'd go get some cole slaw. Maybe I'll try to make my own. I'll have to look up a decent recipe online. Tried some premade cole slaw dressing once, and it was NASTY! Too vinager tasting. That's why I like Sonnys. The only other place that makes slaw that I like is Maryland Fried Chicken. But, if I'm not gonna drive 20-30 minutes to get some, I'm definitely not gonna drive an 1 1/2 hours for some. Don't like it that much.

Had to order a new pump for our swimming pool. After all these years, it finally fizzled out on us. Still runs ok, but the bearings went out on it, and it is leaking water like crazy! So, the new one came in today so I'm sure Hubby will want to install it tomorrow while he is home. If not, he'll probably have J and FIL hook it up Monday or so. But, if I had to place bets, I would bet that Hubby will put it in tomorrow. That's just how he is.

Other than fixing the pool, and having a fish fry, I think we are just laying low this weekend. Hanging out at the house, maybe watch a movie or two. Just enjoying each other's company. Might even talk Hubby into some Wii Sports Resort challenges. Should be fun!

So, I probably won't blog again until Sunday evening, minimum. But, it will more than likely be Monday.

Hasta la bye bye!

Blah!

Having kind of a BLAH day. No motivation to do the 50 million things that need done. Just kind of sad and depressed. Thought about Molly and Walker a lot today. They've been on my mind more and more lately. I just can't stop picturing how my life would be different today, if one or both of them had lived.

For a cheerier topic, let's go to TV for $100 Alex. Watched Hell's Kitchen tonight. They get some real characters for that show. I don't think working with Ramsey would be a walk in the park, but sometimes I can understand WHY he acts the way he does. WOW!

Also watched The Philanthropist. It's a pretty good show. Me and J like it. It is one of our "summer" shows. Along with The Listener, Hawthorne, Warehouse 13 and Mental. Can't wait for Monk and Psych to start. We've also been keeping up with Burn Notice, In Plain Sight and Eureka. I'm not afraid to admit that I am a TV-aholic.

Well, one more day closer to the weekend, which means one day closer to Hubby. He'll be home Friday night! Hurray!

Well, I think I'll play a game for a bit and head off to bed. Feeling more tired than usual.

Later!

Another day!

Well, it is technically Wednesday, so if I post now, I'm off the hook until tomorrow. Sounds good to me.

When Hubby and I got married we knew that we wanted children. How many, at least 2, maybe more, but we'd play it by ear after the second. We agreed to wait until we had been married 5 years to begin a family. I had a cousin who had done this, and it seemed like a great way to get to know each other, be spontaneous, get some things out of the way as a couple, before we devoted ourselves to our children. There's a saying that if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans, and boy did he have a chuckle at our expense.

We married in April of '93, and in February of '94 Hubby and his father fell off of a roof while building a house. I was FRANTIC when I received the call at work. Turns out my Father-in-law, hereby known as FIL, slipped earlier in the day, and Hubby was able to catch him without incident. But, they weren't so lucky the second time. FIL started to fall, Hubby tried to be Superman and attempted to catch him. NO SUCH LUCK! So, they both tumbled 20 ft down to the ground and landed on top of some chunks of concrete that were in the sand. Hubby thinks FIL is having a heart attack, he yells at his brother to call 911, attempts to stand and is instantly back on the ground. When ambulance gets there, they take him to the hospital, with my MIL taking my FIL behind them. Both are treated, but FIL is fine. Seems that Hubby broke his fall and his chest pains were from bruised ribs due to landing on Hubby's knee. OUCH! Hubby on the other hand, has crushed a vertebrae and is hospitalized for a few days and out of work for a little over a month. We were told that he was very lucky that the break happened where it did, and that the bone fragments went outwards, instead of up and down. Otherwise, he could have been paralyzed, lost function of the old boy parts, etc. Well, we took that as a sign that life is too short for us to wait, and we weren't getting any younger. So, after he was released from the Dr's care in April, we began trying. By the middle of August, SUCCESS!

We were over the moon! But, after Hubby's brother & wife having 2 children with birth defects, and a cousin's child having problems, we were very cautious and concerned. Pregnancy was a piece of cake, no real problems other than weight gain, lost my ankles and feeling like I had an ALIEN inside of my trying to kick his way out. LOL And my father passed away, suddenly, when I was almost 7 months. Not exactly a way to ensure a stress free pregnancy. Giving birth to him wasn't so easy, and we had a little scare after he was born, but in perspective, it was no big deal. So, we decided that 3 years was a good gap between kids, and when J was a little over 2, we started trying again.

"Crickets chirping"

NOTHING! Finally in August of 2004, TEN years after getting pregnant with J, I finally get a positive on the pregnancy test! I was ELATED! GIDDY! Crazy happy. Hubby was working close by, and the preg test said the results would fade before Hubby was to be home. So, I drove over there with the test and showed him. He was excited too, but a little more practical than me. He wanted to know if I was sure. I told him I took 2 tests, and both said yes. I immediately called EVERYONE that I knew. I scheduled an appointment with my OB/GYN and was on Cloud 9 1/2. Went to appointment, and since I have always been so irregular, she decided to do an ultrasound to get better idea of how far along I was. Couldn't find anything on traditional, so they did a vaginal. Not very pleasant, but it was great to confirm there was indeed a teeny tiny baby in there. Not only that, there were 2!!!!!!!! One didn't seem as developed as the other, but tech said it was more than likely because it was so early. But, it could be that it stopped developing and was being reabsorbed. I was shocked. TWINS! Thought it was God's way of rewarding me for having to wait so long. Ever practical Hubby, said we should just count on 1 until I'm a little further along, and have another ultrasound. So, we planned for 1, and I hoped for 2. Not that I wouldn't have been happy with 1, cause the thought of 1 made me crazy happy, but the thought of 2 seemed to make up for all the false alarms and disappointment every time I thought I was pregnant and dear, sweet Aunt Flo would find me yet again.

Things were going great. I shopped. I called a Sister-in-law, who had recently had a baby. We made plans to get some of her baby things. I shopped some more. Mostly clearance racks, and a great consignment shop near me. I planned for J's 10th b-day. We typically had a party at the house, but I thought since it was the BIG 1-0, and to try to take some of the focus off of the new baby(babies) we would do something different. Maybe bowling, or skating. Baby(ies) were due end of April, and J's b-day is end of May. I had it all figured out. I had the nursery planned, painted and decorated in my head. I had registered with Wally World, Babies R Us and Target. I was glowing! So freaking happy I thought I would burst. And then...

I started bleeding a little. I went to the Dr, they did another ultrasound. The second baby was in fact not viable, but the first baby was looking good. Good heart beat, looked good. Dr said bleeding was more than likely because of second baby being "aborted", go home, rest, put my feet up and no heavy lifting. No problem. If it meant saving the first baby, I would permanently retire to my bed. We are good friends all ready, so I didn't see a problem. Well, bleeding continues, went back to Dr. Sono tech had all ready left, so Dr sends me to hospital for ultrasound. They again have to do vaginal, and the tech took FOREVER and never tried to reassure me by showing me the baby, so it was pretty obvious that this baby was gone too. I couldn't stop crying.

I'm kind of odd, and didn't want anyone with me, so I drove to Dr/hospital alone. I sat in waiting room after sono, WAITING for the Dr, but all ready knowing the answer. I was a wreck. Dr finally comes in, tells me what I all ready know, and then tells me that "the good news is, we know you can get pregnant." WHAT??? Is that supposed to be reassuring? This wasn't my regular doc, but I had seen him the first time I went in for bleeding. Needless to say, he didn't make me feel any better. Gave me a prescription for pain pills, told me that I would be in a lot of pain until and when the "baby" passes. Get some rest, yada, yada, yada.

So I called Hubby and broke the news to him, tried to regain my composure long enough to drive the 20 minutes home, went home and cried my eyes out. The pain was horrific at time, and I think it was only intensified due to the pain in my heart.

For weeks, I cried myself to sleep, usually clutching a stuffed giraffe that played "Twinkle, Twinkle" that I had bought for nursery. It was so hard seeing people, talking to people, because the first thing they would ask was "How's the baby?" I got sadder and sadder, each time I had to tell someone. I felt my heart breaking into a million pieces and every time I had to tell someone, I would relive the nightmare of my final days of pregnancy.

I eventually cleaned out the drawers that had all the baby's things in it and put it in storage. I couldn't bear to have it around as a reminder. I ached every time I would see a pregnant woman. Every time I would see a news story about a baby being found in a dumpster, a baby being killed by it's parent. I wanted to scream! How could God let these people have babies if they were just going to throw them away, kill them, abuse them, neglect them, and not let us have another child? A stable home, with 2 loving parents, grandparents that would spoil any baby rotten, a great big brother? I was so confused.

It was so hard to be happy for someone when they told me they were pregnant. I was jealous, envious, angry, sad, you name it.

Thing is, other people seem to forget. As time grows, memories fade. I'm not one of those people. I think about my babies EVERY day. I know that they would be 4 years and 3 months right now. An exact age is hard to pinpoint, but I was originally told late April for a due date. Even though Hubby and I have never really discussed it, they have names. Since I never found out genders and since I lost both of them, I consider them twins. And to be fair, they were fraternal. Molly Isabella and Walker Benjamin. Hubby and I had discussed the first names, and since we didn't get a chance to find out gender, my SIL and I referred to them as Molly-Walker, making sure we covered all bases. Every August, I get weepy. It's really not a good month. And it is quickly approaching. It used to be great. My b-day is the 14th, my father's is the 22nd and I conceived J in August. TMI, I know, but it is what it is. LOL Now, I think about my dad, and I think about the babies. I miscarried in September, so that month sucks too. And I think about them in April, realizing that they would be "this many" years old.

I think other people would think about it more, if we had a child that had died, or if my pregnancy was closer to term. But most people don't seem to realize the impact a miscarriage has. Even though that baby wasn't born, it doesn't mean I hadn't all ready given it my heart. It is still a loss, and it still hurts.

Last year I kept my cousin's baby for her. She is young, single and wasn't really ready to be a mom. She had moved back here and was staying with her grandparents (my aunt and uncle) and my aunt was in the hospital fighting for her life. I kept him a few odd times here and there, just so his mom could have a break. He was about 10 months old at the time, and I was in love! My aunt lost her battle with cancer on J's b-day, May 29th. I took the baby home with me, so his mom could help with arrangements, etc. I kept him until the funeral, and then I kept him off and on over the summer, with each stay getting longer. There even talks about us keeping him, either temporarily for a couple of years, or permanently. I tried not to get my hopes up, because I didn't want to get hurt again. But, I'm not programmed that way apparently. So, I was head over heals in love with this child and was all ready clearing out the office and transforming it into a nursery in my mind. I was there when he took his first steps. His mother didn't care. But, his mom ultimately wasn't the boss because even though she gave birth to him, her grandfather was paying for everything and he and her mother made the decisions. I get it that they wanted him to be with more direct family. But there was a part of me that was soooo pissed off. My cousin (the baby's grandmother) all ready complained about raising her son, who was around 11. She didn't raise her first 2 (the baby's mom), her parents did. It was just frustrating, and I felt so used. Not by my uncle or the baby's grandmother, cause they just were doing what was best in the long run. But sooo used by his mother. She played upon my weakness for babies. My desire to have another little on in our home. We were all sooo in love with that kid it wasn't funny. He had been with us off and on from May to December. And it wasn't like we just watched him for the day during that time. He would be with us for a week or 2, sometimes 3. It was impossible to NOT get attached. He was a great kid, so loving, funny. When I still thought there was a chance that we were going to get to keep him, I got out a few of the babies things for him to use. A blanket, a stuffed lion, a stuffed elephant and the stuffed musical giraffe. He got rather attached to the blanket, and would always grab it when I took him out of the playpen after a nap or in the morning. He like to cuddle right after he woke up, so we would cuddle with the blankie. It hurt, knowing that those items were supposed to be for Molly and Walker, but it also brought me joy that we had a baby in the house that was getting use and pleasure out of them. Some things that were packed away for Molly and Walker were sold at a yard sale. But these items were not sentimental; bottles, sleep positioner, some used clothes. Sentimental items such as the stuffies and the blankie were kept. I couldn't part with them, and may never be able to.

After he left for good in December, I couldn't stand seeing the house with toys everywhere. There were so many reminder of him that it broke my heart every time I would see his favorite toys, or find one of his bottles. I packed everything away, but I couldn't pack away the little lion, his favorite of the stuffies. Hubby was gone alot during that summer, and I got so lonely and sad, that I started sleeping with the little lion, often crying myself to sleep thinking about Molly, Walker and Little Man.

I still sleep with the lion, and I kiss it's head 4 times before I go to sleep. One for Molly. One for Walker. One for Little Man. And one for J, just cause I love him so much. Maybe I'm weak. Maybe I should just let go. Maybe I'm a big baby. Label me however you choose. I feel like connected to them when I drift off to sleep holding that sweet little lion. And since it's the only connection I have, I don't have any plans to pack the lion away any time soon.

With August approaching, I have all ready been a little blue. But last night, I was checking out some blogs that had recently won some awards. I stumbled on one, that made mention of two little boys. Upon further reading, I found out the author of the blog was referring to her twins that she lost at 17 weeks. It just hit me like a ton of bricks. The more I read, the more I cried. Some of the feelings she wrote about where like reading my own unwritten journal. So, I cried myself to sleep last night, and after going over everything again, I'll probably do the same tonight.

Later.

Molly, Walker, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you. Wonder what you would have looked like. Would you look like your daddy, like J, or me? Would you have the Gregory blue eyes, or would my brown eyes stare back at me? Would you have been like your cousins, and been total opposites, brown hair and brown eyes for her, and blond hair and blue eyes for him? Who was older? Would Molly be a tom-girl, playing in the dirt and wanting to help daddy build houses? Or would she be a prissy girly girl? Would you be excited thinking about going to school? Which one of you said Mama first? So many questions, so many possibilities. I love you from the very bottom of my heart, and even though I never got to hold you, I hold you in my heart each and every day. Good night my angels.

It's me again, Margaret!

Well, so I didn't get to blog over weekend, but to be honest, I probably won't most weekends. That is the only time that hubby is home, and I'd rather spend time with him and J. But, there really isn't an excuse for not blogging yesterday. Sorry.

Over the weekend, we just kind of hung out around the house, taking it easy.

Fixed lunch on Saturday, invited the In-Laws over. Played Bull (the G version of Bullshit). It's really a fun game, and it never ceases to make us laugh until we cry. Maybe we are easy to please, or it's just a lot of fun. I'm thinking the former. Hubby and J fiddled around in the garden, mostly picking potatoes, yummy, and then went swimming. I went and did some grocery shopping, and then fixed supper. We had steak, and I boiled up some of our taters and just put some butter and a little S & P and garlic on them. Delicious! While enjoying our fine dining, we watched Paul Blart, Mall Cop. Definitely not Academy Award winning material, but still pretty funny. Hubby enjoyed it, as it is his favorite kind of movie, dumb and funny.

Sunday, J and I just hung out around the house while Hubby took his truck to get oil changed. When Hubby returned, we cooked some burgers on the grill. Hubby makes THE BEST burgers. I'm usually in charge of the grill, but I can't even come close to making burgers as good as him. The In-Laws came over to eat, and after they left we watched Jumper. Pretty good movie. Hayden Christensen was a lot better in this movie than he was in Star Wars. Not that he was great, but was definitely and improvement. Then it was time for Hubby to leave to go back to his work home. Boo Hoo!

Yesterday, J and I took it easy. He got a new game, Wii Sports Resort and we played that for quite awhile! LOVE IT! It is soooooooo much fun. Love most of the new games, some are still a little tough for me, but over all, it is great!

Well, think I'm gonna see if J wants to play for a bit before we have to leave for an appointment. I'm sure he'll approve! Not only will he get to play, but he's kind of unusual for a 14 year old, and he actually enjoys doing things with his parents. Freaky but true.

Might blog more tonight, maybe not till tomorrow. We'll see.

Later taters

Two In A Row!

Well, here I am again, two days in a row. Unbelievable!

Not really much to say, but I wanted to try to get into the habit of blogging each day.

Got a letter today, congratulating Jon for being accepted into NJROTC. Yea! He has Orientation, which sounds a lot like a mini boot camp-lol, the last 3 weekdays before school starts. Should be fun. The un-fun part: for him, excercise in FL August heat (luckily it is early), the un-fun part for me, he has to be there at 8 a.m.! Not bad I guess, since he starts school the following week anyway, and we'll have to get up earlier than that.

Well, I'm just sitting here waiting on hubby to get home from Melbourne. Supper's all ready done, just needs to be heated up, so.....

Until next time,

Dee (Pngwn)

Gonna Try Again...Don't Hold Your Breath!

Well, I'm gonna give this another go. Not sure how long I'll last, but I'm gonna give it my all.

So.....what's happened since my last update? Still don't have a job, but hubby got a new job in January with the construction company that his brother works for. They build roads and bridges, and they are currently working in the Melbourne area, redoing I-95. The fact that it is in Melbourne is the sucky part. So, he stays down there during the week, and comes home on Fridays after work. Sometimes Thursdays after work, just depends on the week, and what they have going on. Then he heads back Sunday evening, and starts all over again. He was staying with his brother, in his camper, but in June he got a camper of his own. With summer approaching, he didn't want to be in the way of his brother's family, so he felt he needed a place of his own.

My Mother-in-law has been battling cancer for almost 3 years now. We thought things were improving, and a recent scan showed the cancer almost gone. So, she held off of treatments for a few months, and then had another scan. This one showed that not only was the cancer back, it was growing at a fairly steady rate. They gave her 6 months, if she doesn't do any more treatments. The only treatment that they feel would even have a chance to attack this cancer, almost killed her last year, and it will only improve her odds by 10-15%. So, for now she's not taking any treatments, but she isn't quite ready to give up and admit defeat. She has held off on calling Hospice in, and she's just taking things one day at a time. It is going to be so hard when she goes. I never would have pegged my Father-in-law for the doting kind of guy, that would become a care giver in a situation like this, but he surprised me. He retired, only helping my husband when necessary, made easier when hubby took new job, and he has devoted himself to taking care of her. He is not going to take it well, not like the rest of us are either though.

Nana (Lynda) & Jon

My son is Nana's boy, and it is going to hit him pretty hard too. He's never known life without Nana, and they are very close. While there have been a few people die in his lifetime, they either died when he was very small, or were people that he didn't really have a connection with. My aunt died last year, on his birthday no less, but he didn't really know her that well, so it didn't have a fraction of the impact that his Nana's passing will have.

Nana & Jon picking "blow flowers" (dandelions)

Ok, on to more cheery updates!!!!!!!!!!

We have a new kitten!!

Tiny little girl-end of May 2009

Midge-7/23/09

Starting to look more like a cat and less like a kitten

She found us about 2 months ago, and she has now found her way into our hearts. We heard a strange sound while watching TV one day. The sound didn't appear to match up with what was on TV, and it persisted, even after I muted the movie. My son looked out the front door, and saw a tiny little furball, whining on the porch steps. He tried to go after her, but by the time he got across the porch and out the screen door, she was across the yard, and hiding under a truck that we had out for sale. We tried to coax her out off and on all day, without much success. She found her way into the motor of the truck, and without a way to reach her, I scouted around for an alternate plan. This type of truck, had access into the engine from inside the truck, so I opened the compartment, and pulled her out. She was sooo scrawny, and tiny. She appears to be a calico and she was only about 6-8 weeks old when we found her. Jon started calling her The Cuteness, but she didn't really have a name until a few days later. While I was peeling potatoes, she climbed onto the arm of the chair, and then proceeded to climb onto my shoulder, where she remained most of the day. She didn't even get off if I got up and walked around. Just kind of hung out on my shoulder, resting her head on my ponytail when I would sit down. So, I started calling her Polly, since she was like a parrot. But, that name didn't last too long either. Without knowing how old she was, or what she had eaten or hadn't eaten since she got abandoned or dumped, I fed her the only thing available, which was regular dry cat food, until I could get to the store the next day. I took a couple of days, and then the poor little thing had so much tummy trouble, that we began calling her Miss Sh*tsAlot. I took her off of the kitten food, and started feeding her chicken baby food. Seemed to do the trick, and she was feeling much better in no time. But, a week or so later, she ate a couple slivers of a potato chip, and she was Miss Sh*tsAlot all over again. Back to the baby food. Needless to say, with her tummy troubles, NOONE wanted her to ride on their shoulders, and by the time she was totally over all of her problems, she didn't like riding up there, and she was getting a little big for it as well. So, Polly just didn't seem to fit anymore, so we started calling her Midget, or Midge for short. Jon had been calling her that alot anyway, and since she barely fit in our hands, and our other cats are almost 20 lbs, she is definitly the smallest of the bunch. I know that Midget is soooooo politically incorrect, but it was not meant in any negative way. She was barely a pound, and our next smallest cat is about 16 lbs, so..... We do mostly call her Midge though, it just sounds more girly. She is also called Princess Fiona, cause she is more than a little spoiled. And she just has this look like we (the other cats included) are SO beneath her.

Jon and Midge napping

Midge and Cricket

He's the "small" one. She loves him, loves to play with his tail, chases him everywhere. He just rolls his eyes and puts up with her until he can't take it any more and they he either swats her with his paw, or just leaves. He's never tried to be "mean" to her, no matter how much she annoys him.

Mushu-19 lbs

Not the best picture of him, but it gives you an idea of how BIG he is. That was Jon's step stool that he had as a toddler. It's not exactly small, and Mushu takes up most of it. He wants NOTHING to do with our new little furball. She gets even remotely close to him, and he gives out a warning hiss. This is usually followed by Midge running the other direction. All though, she is getting braver.

Cricket & Mushu

A little brotherly love. They each had a bed, but they insisted on snuggling together in one. All though Mushu could just about fill one up by himself.

Really isn't too much else going on. My mother moved to Punta Gorda last month to live with her brother and his wife. She is at the point, where she really needs to NOT live by herself, and since neither my sister or I had room for her, she went to live with him. BUT, it hasn't even been a month, and she all ready talking about moving back. She wants us to help her find an Assisted Living Facility near here, and get the ball rolling for her to move into one of them when she gets back. She is on SSDI, and gets Medicaid, so there are procedures to follow, tape to cut, etc, etc...

Jon-Jan 2009 (13 1/2)

My son is going to be a High School Freshman in less than a month! Doesn't seem possible! Makes me feel so old. LOL He's 14 now, and in addition to going to a new school, and taking advanced classes, he also joined NJROTC. So, this year should be interesting to say the least. I still think of him as my sweet, smiley, toeheaded little guy, hard to believe he's turning into this young man I see every day.

Jon-approx 1 year old

Well, the old carpal tunnel is giving me heck for typing this long. I am wearing my braces, which somewhat helps the pain and tingling, but it makes typing take twice as long. LOL Ok, maybe not twice, but they do slow me down.

So, hopefully there will me more soon. But don't hold your breath, cause I don't want to be responsible for any concussions when you pass out and hit your head. Keep my Mother-in-law (Lynda) in your prayers.

Later,


Dee (Pngwn)

Another Day!

Well, another day come and gone. Got some bad news earlier today, that made me a little grumpy. Was looking forward to the prospect of getting a job watching 2 small children during the week. That kind of job is RIGHT up my alley, but I got an e-mail from the mother and her old sitter is available again, so she is going to use her, but she'll keep my info in case anything happens. I REALLY need to find a job, and except for the lack of insurance, it was about as close to perfect as it could get.
So, back to the old grind, trying to find something else. I have all ready put out quite a few applications and nothing. It's quite frustrating!

Well, enough of that. My boy and I got our flu shots today. We are supposed to have them every year, more for my mother-in-law's health than ours. Due to her cancer and chemo, we have all been advised to have flu shots to protect her. Pretty easy thing to do and it helps us too. She was supposed to have her PET scan yesterday, but the machine broke. Not very reassuring in my opinion. But, she's scheduled for tomorrow, so any and all extra prayers will be appreciated.

I used to homemade cream of chicken soup that I made Sunday to make a bowl of soup last night for supper. It was delicious as an added ingredient to rice or something similar, but it left a lot to be desired as plain soup. So, I probably won't go out of my way to make it on a regular basis, but if I'm out of canned soup, or I have chicken broth on hand, then I might whip up some more. It really was great in the rice, just had a funny texture as soup.

Well, I'm trying to catch up on my TV addiction. Watched my normal shows Survivor and CSI and then I watched Eleventh Hour. Has a more sci-fi edge to it that my son likes. I DVR Grey's Anatomy and ER, and I'm watching ER now. DVR was made for junkies like me. The only nights I don't have something that I regularly watch is Friday and Saturday. But, there are always things to watch that I DVR'd.

Well, I'm gonna go concentrate, cause I'm scatter brained right now. Of course, that doesn't take much.

More babble later!

Pngwn

Cooking Ramblings

Found a recipe online for homemade cream of chicken soup concentrate, and since I had some chicken in the crock pot anyway, I decided to give it a whirl. It was delicious! It wasn't the prettiest looking stuff, but it was almost good enough to eat all by itself. I added mine to some rice, with a little water and the previously mentioned chicken, and it was wonderful! Very easy to make, and I have plenty left to use for other recipes, or even soup.

While I was in the cooking mood, I made some strawberry muffins. They weren't homemade, but they were still very tasty, and they looked pretty too.

I also found a use for some mashed sweet potatoes that I had leftover. They weren't very good as originally intended, but there was too much left to throw away. I'm too frugal for that. It was mostly there consistency that wasn't good, the flavor was actually tasty. So, while I was in a cooking mood, I had a thought. I have made potato cakes out of leftover regular mashed potatoes, so I figured it would work with sweet potatoes too. They were really good. My son said they were a lot better than the originals. So, now I know what to do with the other box and a half that I have in the pantry.

Well, I'm gonna go hang with my son until our favorite shows come on.

Until we meet again,

Pngwn

Where does the time go?

It is hard to believe that it has been 8 months since I blogged last. Where does the time go? In some respects, it seems like February was just last month, and in others, it seems like ages ago.

So much has happened in that time, I'll try and give the Readers Digest condensed version.

Health Problems---Had to have second sleep study done, because the first one showed definite bouts of apnea and the fact that I wasn't actually sleeping very long at night. Kind of explained why I was always so tired. Second one was done with CPAP machine, to see if it resolved the issues. It did, and I am now the proud owner of my very own CPAP machine. Kind of makes me feel like Darth Vader.

My ENT decided that he wanted to do a biopsy on one of the lymph nodes in my neck since nothing else had relieved the swelling for long. My Rheumotologist wanted him to do a lower lip biopsy at the same time, to rule out Sjogren's Syndrome. So, I had both procedures done at the same time in May. I knew that he was going to cut into my neck, but I was shocked when I woke up and found this HUGE bandage on my neck and a huge wad of stitches in my lip. Lip hurt pretty bad, neck was a little sore, but not horrible. Boy was I suprised when I changed the bandage. The incision was a lot bigger than I had thought it would be. I felt like Frankenstein.

The photo is of the scar today, 5 months later, it's not horrible, but it could have been a little smaller. I was scheduled to have the stitches removed on my son's birthday, and I was also getting the results from the biopsies on that day. They both came back negative for anything bad. So, I may have a horrible scar, but it's better than not having a scar, and wondering if there was something bad brewing in there.

My Aunt-- Things just went from bad to worse with her health. Everytime they ran a test, they found more cancer. She got out of bed for PT and broke her hip, because it was so eat up with cancer. She was finally released from the hospital in May, I think and she was pretty bad the first couple of days, trying to get off all the pain meds, but after that she seemed to be ok. Don't get me wrong, it's not like her cancer went away, but at least she was in good spirits, and her pain was fairly tolerable. And then she just got really bad, really quick. My sister had been going down there to stay with her a lot, usually taking her two girls with her. I kept her youngest (almost 7 at the time) for the night, planning on taking her with me to the dr with me to get my stitches removed, and then heading back down to her house. But, my sis called early that morning to tell me that she had passed in the middle of the night. That was a pretty sucky weekend, hubby was supposed to be a pall bearer, but he had to go out of state to find some work so my son filled in for him. He handled the responsibility pretty well, but it was still very tough to get through the funeral without my hubby.

My aunt's granddaughter has a little boy that was just under a year old and I kept him quite a bit in the latter part of my aunt's illness, and quite a bit that summer also. My cousin couldn't go to the hospital with him, and then after my aunt had passed, she was needed to make plans, preparations, etc. And I just loved it. He is such an angel, it was so much fun keeping him. I haven't seen him in 3 months, and I miss him so much. At one point during the summer, my son went with my husband and his parents out of state for a week, and it was nice having the baby there all to myself. Well, my sis and her family came over quite a bit, but I got so used to having him here, it seemed sooooo quiet and boring when he left.

FUTURE BLOGGER?

Everything else--- My son is now 13 and in the 8th grade! Doesn't seem possible! He is now taller than me, but that doesn't take much. LOL He is doing well in school, not that he always enjoys it. He just got his braces this summer, and he's not liking that very much either. I think he looks great, but he doesn't hesitate to remind me that the braces were my choice, not his!

Hubby is trying to find work, as am I. When the building industry came crashing to a halt, it pretty much eliminated my job. I was working for his company, selling cabinets for the houses he built, as well as remodel jobs and selling to a couple of other builders. Once he finished the hosue he was working on, he was pretty much done too. So, he and his father tried delivering RV's, but it didn't really pay enough after you deducted for fuel, motels, and considered how long they were away from home. So, he's sending out resumes just not getting a lot of replies now. He's delivering pizzas in the evenings, for a little money, but it's not nearly enough to pay all of our bills. I have filled out quite a few applications, but nothing until today. I don't want to curse myself, but I had someone reply about a child care position that I had responded to. It would be ideal for me, I love kids, and since she's a teacher, it would still allow me to have weekends and most holidays with my son. I'm keeing my fingers and toes crossed that when I meet with her and her husband, they like me well enough and hire me! It's not enough money to end all of our problems, but it would cover my car payment and our auto insurance, plus some extra. That would be wonderful, and that much less that hubby doesn't have to worry about.

My husband's mother is still fighting cancer. She had a major setback a few months ago. It wasn't necessarily the cancer, but the way too high dose of chemo, and a bad reaction to it that ended up with her in the hospital, not doing too well at all. She's going better now, at least as well as can be expected. She's an ornery woman, and she's not going down without a fight, that's for sure. She has her good days, and her bad days. She just finished her latest round of chemo, and is supposed to have another scan done this week to see how well it worked. It is also her birthday this week, so we are wishing for wonderful results for her birthday.

Well, believe it or not, that really was the condensed version! If you don't believe me, ask my sister! LOL

I'll try and be better about blogging and I know I said that before, but I really am going to try this time.

Till next time!

Pngwn

Wow, time sure flies!

Well, I can't believe that I haven't posted in 2 weeks! So much for a little something each day! LOL
Things have been a little crazy around here, but I'll try to get back on track.

To catch up on all that was missed these last 2 weeks...
Spent some time watching my boy at baseball practice. I can't believe that Opening Day is right around the corner.
Had an Endoscopy done on the 14th! Hubby was sweet and brought me a half gallon of the yummiest ice cream since he figured my throat would be sore from the procedure. He also bought me a beautiful necklace with a heart charm on it that says "Love".
Sunday, we went to Tampa to try and work on the bathroom at my aunt and uncles house. They currently only have a half bath on the first floor of their home, and my hubby it finishing the pool bath so that my aunt will have a shower downstairs. She is currently in the hospital, trying to stay brave and strong with the dreaded "Cancer" word hanging over her head. She's hoping to come soon, and it would be much easier with a full bath that she can use.
No School on Monday, didn't get much accomplished.
Tuesday I had a sleep study done to see if I have sleep apnea, or I am just an obnoxious snorer. Wasn't much fun to be honest. Bed was comfy enough, but the pillow wasn't, and there were so many wires and stuff, that I was afraid to move. Couldn't get very comfortable, and I'm afraid I didn't really sleep that much. I don't do mornings, and the tech was in at 5:30 to rip everything off of me, so that I could go home. Slept like the dead once I got home, in my familiar bed, with my pillow. Took a shower to get all of the goo out of my hair, and didn't realize until it was almost dry, that I failed miserably. Still had 2 big gobs of goo on each side of my head and some behind one ear! YUCK!
Not much happened today. Tomorrow I have to take my mom to a dr's appointment and then it's off the baseball practice. More than likely head back to Tampa with hubby this weekend to try and finish the bathroom. All of the sheetrock is hung, now it needs to be finished, and LOTS of tile has to be installed.

So, that is my boring couple of weeks, and I'm sure there will be plenty more boring weeks to come! LOL

Until we meet again!

Another Day

Well, another day, come and almost gone!

Had a Dr appt today with a gastroenterologist, to try and figure out why I keep getting this knot in my throat. He did feel that the lymph nodes on that side were slightly swollen, but thought that the problem was more in the area for an ENT. But, just to be safe since I have had this problem before, and I have pretty bad heartburn, he is going to do an endoscopy next week! Oh yippee! And then I guess we'll go from there to an ENT if he gets no answers.

Also get to do a sleep study the week after to see if I possibly have sleep apnea. I've been told my MANY that I snore horrendously, and I very seldom wake up feeling rested, so Doc thinks it is worth a shot.

Had fun watching my boy practice last night. He's doing great, considering that he hasn't practiced since b-ball was over at the beginning of summer. Also caught up on some Desperate Housewives. I'm still not through with Season 3, but there's still time. Got smart and took my DVD player last night, that has the ipod dock in it. Makes it much easier to see on a 7" screen instead of the ipod.

Tonight, Survivor is back with a new season, and YEA!! LOST is on tonight too! Don't like that they moved Lost to Thursday nights, but it works out ok since the strike. Normally I watch CSI and ER, but they either aren't on, or are repeats, so there are no interuptions for Lost!

The whole work situation is getting rough. I work for my husband's company, which means that while my husband and his dad are building houses, his mother and I work in the office. Well, because no one wants to spend money right now to build houses, I'm pretty much out of a job. MIL tells me today that there will probably be enough money for payroll next week, but after that barring some miracle, there will be no more paychecks! YIKES!!! There is still work to keep DH and FIL busy with the big house they are working on, just means that we will have no money coming in. MIL suggested that I file unemployment, because then there will at least be a little money. I don't make very much money per week as it is, but I guess something is better than nothing. The only good side of it all, is that I don't really have to go to work, unless something just pops up and I am needed. I am only 5 minutes away from the office anyway, so if for any reason she needs help with something, or DH needs something while she is at a DR's appt, then it's not a big deal. Gives me loads of time to get my horribly messy house uncluttered and get my son's room cleaned out so that we can paint it and put in the new shelves. One of his Christmas gifts was getting his room redecorated, and fortunately for me, he is a fairly patient boy!

Well, I'm gonna go cook some vittles and get ready for prime time TV enjoyment!

Later taters!

Babble of the Pngwn

Well, just decided to set up a blog to keep track of lifes ups, downs, spirals and roller coaster moments!

Any one who knows me, knows that I truly have the gift of gab. I am fairly shy, but once you get me started, I have a hard time shutting up. My dad always said I should have been named Brooke, because I was always babbling. Not much has changed.

So, I am truly and old woman before my time, and I really don't have even close to what some would call "a life", but I am going to try to come here at least once a day, and yak about something! My favorite TV shows (way too many to list here), favorite songs or artists, something cool I bought or made, etc. You get the idea!

Don't be surprised though, if I have to vent every now and then! Lots of stuff going on right now, and not all of it is pretty! Sick mother-in-law, sick aunt, mother with medical issues of her own, husband (need I say more? LOL), pets, 12 year old son (who is a clone of previously mentioned husband!) and all of the other YUCK stuff that life keeps dishing out as is if were chocolate ice cream!

Well, that's it for now. Gonna finish up the work day, get a little done at home before heading off to baseball practice. I love to watch my son and his team practice, and it gives me time to finally catch up on all the TV shows that are on my ipod. I'm still trying to get through last season of Desperate Housewives. At least with the Writer's Strike, I am able to catch up instead of just chasing my tail. I am addicted to WAY too many TV shows, and for some reason, the TV execs don't seem to care that they put 2 of my favorite shows on at the same time on the same night, on different channels. Hmmm! Some people! LOL

See what I mean about being windy? That was just supposed to be a good-bye sentence, and it turned into a whole paragraph!

Later!